JUST FOR YOU…
Self Improvement
Using the Law of Attraction in Real Life
Dec 28th
Ever since evolution, man has always wondered about things like existence of God, destiny, unfair sufferings etc. There are neither any fixed answers to all that nor any proofs. However, there is one truth which can give us the desired results if followed properly. The truth is the Law of attraction.
Using the law of attraction, one can get almost anything and everything. Be it the ideal partner, perfect health, wealth or even the most suitable job. We just need to understand the law of attraction and use it wisely, correctly and consistently in order to obtain the desired results
Every thought is a vibration. When we think about a thing, a vibration or a signal is sent across the Universe. Consistent similar thoughts with greater intensity can actual make the particular thing happen in anyone’s life. This is the basic concept of the law of attraction. Hence it is very important to monitor our thoughts because negative thoughts can bring negative things in our life.
There are various ways of implementing the law of attraction. However, the starting point of every way is positive thinking. We must always believe in the goal which we are seeking and continue to believe till its achieved, no matter how many obstacles or setbacks we face in our way. People stop believing in it after failing once. Then the results never follow since the ground rule is broken. This is the only reason why this law does not work for everyone.
Once we have strong belief, we can start with positive affirmations also known as autosuggestions. Some examples are “I am happy” or “I am healed”. These autosuggestions clear our mind, instill or increase the self belief and send out clear and definite signals to the Universe which later works towards the goal. These autosuggestions can also increase our confidence. Autosuggestions are the cornerstone of the law of attraction.
After regular autosuggestions, we can move to the next step which is thinking. This is based on the “thoughts become things” principle. We need to think about the thing which we desire again and again. We can also start acting as if the thing has already happened in our life. The specific goal should be planned in our mind.
The next step is the most important step of this process. We need to visualize the goal in our mind with great intensity and emotion. Visualize and imagine the happiness of achieving the goal. Here, people can use their creativity depending upon the goal. Some common examples of visualizations are as follows:
People wanting promotion can visualize their colleagues congratulating them. They can imagine walking into their own cabin with hugs and handshakes all around. They should feel the rush of emotion in reality while imagining this.
People trying to heal a condition, can visualize themselves doing things they would do after healing. Again they need to feel the happiness of being free from the condition.
People trying for wealth can imagine stacks of currency notes again and again, lovingly and smilingly. They must avoid using words like “I can’t afford” or “its too expensive”. They need to believe that they are money magnets and that wealth flows into their life in avalanches of abundance.
So if all the above things are followed diligently without giving up even once, then the law of attraction would certainly bring that thing in their lives soon.
6 Steps for Reducing Stress In Difficult Times
Oct 21st
When things get difficult is when you need to get “tougher.” It is inevitable that you will be doing a two-step with stress at some point in your day if you are alive. That’s right it is a part of our everyday life. Oftentimes I have conversations with my clients on how to reduce their stress, since so many “unhealthy” habits we have are things we do to give us immediate gratification to make ourselves feel better. I call it looking for pleasure to try to deal with or not feel the pain. The more skillful or enlightened approach is to change your relationship to stress.
Let’s take emotional and compulsive eating or what is called binging. Working with a recent client helped her to identify the triggers and see that the emotional eating usually followed feelings of anxiety, or not getting her needs met and feeling abandoned. I gave her a way to create the gap or space she needed before she binged so she could start to break the pattern. At first she called it stress, once she understood the pattern she had a way to deal with it.
That’s how you start: recognition of the pattern, understanding what is driving it, and focusing on the questions I have provided below. She now feels as if she has more power over the behavior, instead of feeling enslaved by it.
Did you ever think about the fact that your reaction and how to then deal with something is probably the only thing that under your control. Most people do not use their power of choice and react automatically. Here is a way to start to break that pattern and reduce the effects of stress. This is really important because chronic or continual stress can have serious health effects. I first studied this with the master, Jon Kabat Zinn. Read his article At Home in Our Bodies. I have since modified the approach. Here it goes…
Mindfulness in a nutshell to Reduce Stress:
1st Step to Reduce Stress:
Stop & Breathe. The way out of a habit or a pattern is to break it and just give yourself some space. Slowing down the breath is proven to change your energy and break the stress response.
2nd Step to Reduce Stress:
Identify what it is that is causing the stress. Mindfulness gives you the opportunity to get out or the conditioned stress reaction and just look at what is objectively.
3rd Step to Reduce Stress:
Identify what you are feeling and see what the feelings are trying to tell you. That’s right most people do not want to feel their feelings and do not use them as a guidance system. This will help you to do what release and let go of your feelings once you understand what is going on. You can also see if you are over-reacting and use your breathe to calm yourself down. Stress triggers the primitive fight or flight response. It is not a state that gives you the sense that you have many options.
4th Step to Reduce Stress:
Rethink…is there anything you can or should do about “it.” Decide if there is something you can do to change the situation that is causing you stress. If so…
5th Step to Reduce Stress:
Act consciously… don’t just react. You may need to take a look at a bigger problem that you are avoiding or just take a simple step like plan your day better next time.
6th Step to Reduce Stress:
Let it go. Holding on to things is not going to make anything any better. Let it out…write about it in your journal, talk or vent to a friend or just laugh. Don’t eat that will only make matters worse. Make sure you examine the priorities you have in your life. Are you somehow creating your own stress? You are or need to view yourself as a priority.
Download my MP3 on stress reduction. Scroll down to Overcoming Stress in Difficult Times.
Are you taking time to have a self-care practice that you do daily? That is how you put money in the bank for when you need it. Here is mine: walk daily, breathe, meditate, spend some time in nature, and make sure I have some unstructured time. Give me your feedback if you have some other tips how you reduce stress and send this to a friend if you feel they are in need of advice.
Ways To Unlock Your Self Improvement Power
May 18th
When we look at a certain object, a painting for example; we won’t be able to appreciate what’s in it, what is painted and what else goes with it if the painting is just an inch away from our face. But if we try to take it a little further, we’ll have a clearer vision of the whole art work.
We reach a point in our life when we are ready for change and a whole bunch of information that will help us unlock our self improvement power. Until then, something can be staring us right under our nose but we don’t see it. The only time we think of unlocking our self improvement power is when everything got worst. Take the frog principle for example;
Try placing Frog A in a pot of boiling water. What happens? He twerps! He jumps off! Why? Because he is not able to tolerate sudden change in his environment, the water temperature. Then try Frog B: place him in luke warm water, then turn the gas stove on. Wait til the water reaches a certain boiling point. Frog B then thinks “Ooh! it’s a bit warm in here”.
People are like Frog B in general. Today, Anna thinks Carl hates her. Tomorrow, Patrick walks up to her and told her he hates her. Anna stays the same and doesn’t mind what her friends say. The next day, she learned that Kim and John also abhor her. Anna doesn’t realize at once the importance and the need for self improvement until the entire community hates her.
We learn our lessons when we experience pain. We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough and tough. When do we realize that we need to change diets? When none of our jeans and shirts would fit us? When do we stop eating candies and chocolates? When all of our teeth has fallen out? When do we realize that we need to stop smoking? When our lungs have gone bad? When do we pray and ask for help? When we realize that we’re gonna die tomorrow?
The only time most of us ever learn about unlocking our self improvement power is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart. We think and feel this way because it is not easy to change. But change becomes more painful when we ignore it.
Change will happen, like it or hate it. At one point or another, we are all going to experience different turning points in our life and we are all going to eventually unlock our self improvement power not because the world says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realized its for our own good.
Happy people don’t just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don’t have to feel a tremendous heat before realizing the need for self improvement. Unlocking your self improvement power means unlocking yourself up in the cage of thought that “its just the way I am”. It is such a poor excuse for people who fear and resist change. Most of us program our minds like computers.
Jen repeatedly tells everyone that she doesn’t have the guts to be around groups of people. She heard her mom, her dad, her sister, her teacher tells the same things about her to other people. Over the years, that is what Jen believes. She believes it’s her story. And what happens? Every time a great crowd would troop over their house, in school, and in the community she tends to step back, shy away and lock herself up in a room. Jen didn’t only believed in her story, she lived it.
Jen has to realize that she is not what she is in her story. Instead of having her story post around her face for everyone to remember, she has to have the spirit and show people “I am an important person and I should be treated accordingly!”
Self improvement may not be everybody’s favorite word, but if we look at things in a different point of view, we might have greater chances of enjoying the whole process instead of counting the days until we are fully improved. Three sessions in a week at the gym would result to a healthier life, reading books instead of looking at porn will shape up a more profound knowledge, going out with friends and peers will help you take a step back from work and unwind. And just when you are enjoying the whole process of unlocking your self improvement power, you’ll realize that you’re beginning to take things light and become happy.
Search our articles 6 Ways To Build Self Esteem-A Starter Guide To Self Improvement
Apr 21st
So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.
Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?
Dart Pin 1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.
Dart Pin 2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers; all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.
Dart Pin 3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.
Dart Pin 4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.
Dart Pin 5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.
Dart Pin 6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”
In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.
Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. It’s like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive.
Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.
Incoming search terms:
- to * self-esteem (1)
How to boost up your Self Esteem?
Nov 12th
It is a common fact that, to look forward to a booming future, the foremost thing you need to develop is your self esteem. With a high self esteem, you can cross hurdles and lead an endearing life.
Building up self esteem right from childhood is expected to help you in tough situations. Children blessed with encouraging parents are likely to have a high self esteem. If you are conscious that you have a poor self esteem, then it is necessary to enhance it at the earliest. The following are a few things that may help you to increase your self esteem.
- Build your talents: Find out your utmost talent and highly focus on developing it. This could make you feel proud of yourself.
- Maintain good company: Keeping company with good people who guide you in various aspects of Life is the vital ingredient in developing your self esteem. Therefore spend time with people who like and care about you.
- Make your own decisions: This is yet another primary thing you need to follow in order to enhance your self esteem. You yourself craft good choices and do not let others make choices for you.
- Concentrate on achieving your goals: For becoming a self esteemed person, you need to be intentional in working towards your goals. Only then you could get pleased with yourself. Hence pay attention to your own needs and wants.
- Respect others: It is necessary to respect others just as you would like to be respected.
- Stay away from people who treat you badly: Some people would not let you to come up in life and will stand as an obstacle in building your self esteem. So avoid contact with those negative people.
- Be confident and ambitious: Self confidence is the imperative thing you need to have. Always have confidence to do things, what you believe is right.
- Consider mistakes as opportunities: There is no one in the world who does not make a fault. Therefore regard those mistakes as the steeping stones for success. Face your fears with confidence and learn from your failures.
- Focus on doing things that make you feel good: This gives a fine distraction from stress and keeps your mind free. Hence concentrate on things that you enjoy.
- Avoid negative thoughts: Change your mind to have positive thoughts on yourself. Negative thoughts play a major part in guiding you to a wrong path.
- Build your personal growth: It is also equally important to spend time in investing in your personal growth. If and only if you are self satisfied personally, you could earn a high self esteem. Hence take a good care of yourself and start fulfilling your needs and requirements.
- Do the right thing: Always try to accomplish the thing what you believe is right.
- Be yourself: Do not cover up yourself with different disguises, in front of others. This would eventually make you forget who you are really. Hence stop acting for others and live your life in your own way.
Make your life more organised
Oct 30th
There are two types of people in life. Some people are really organised and have everything planned down to the very last detail and some people do not. Most people fall in to the second category of not being as organised as they would like to be. It’s not always necessary to be really organised all of the time but sometimes it can be helpful.
Some top tips for becoming more organised are:
Have a place for everything. This may sound really obvious but if something has a home whether it is at work or in your home you will be more inclined to put it back and tidy it away if it already has a designated space.
Don’t allow paper to pile up. When papers pile up things tend to get lost, go missing and it takes ten times as long to find things than it would have if there wasn’t paper everywhere. Each week clear out all the paper from your desk or coffee table and take it away for recycling.
Don’t procrastinate. This is a really hard one for people that are not naturally organised but if you need to get something done don’t tell yourself you will do it after a coffee or your favourite TV programme – get on and do it right away.
Think and plan ahead. This can be down to what you’re doing this week at work or really obscure matters like your emergency glass repair plan. These things may seem pointless at the time but can save you time and money in the long run.
Dump or recycle old stuff. We all know that having a huge tidy out of all our old belongings that we haven’t used in a while can seem like a really daunting task. Instead of doing it once a year go through a room each month or something more manageable. Most importantly be brutal – if you haven’t used it in the past 6 months you probably never will.
Set goals and deadlines. This can mean at work or in your personal life and may sound a little naff but when you achieve one of them you will feel good about yourself and might feel like you can go a step further.
If you just make a few small changes in your life and organize it a little more than previously you may be amazed with the results that it has in both your personal and working life. Go on give it a go!
How not to look old when you’re fabulous over 50
Oct 5th
Ahh, the effects of being a woman over 50. We have wrinkles around our eyes, fuzz on our faces, sagging boobs, expanding waistlines, and gray hair. It’s harder to find a decent pair of jeans that fits. We prefer house shoes to high heels. Clothing seems to be designed for either our mothers or our daughters. Style over 50 definitely becomes a bigger challenge.
But there’s nothing that says we have to settle for our looks and accept our bodies just because we’re aging. In fact, there’s a whole new you that can be uncovered with just a few simple changes to your makeup and wardrobe. Not the changes you get from a plastic surgeon-we’ve all seen women who looked much better before they had “just a little work done.” Rather minor tweaks in things like hair, lipstick, skirt length and even nail polish that will make us look younger and feel better about ourselves.
I recently began reading How Not to Look Old by Charla Krupp. Charla has been the beauty director at Glamour magazine and an editor at In Style, as well as appearing on television countless times on The Today Show, Oprah and Tyra. I’ll share her pointers with you here in the next few articles as I explore ways to look younger while staying away from the doctor’s office, everything from clothing to nails to hairstyles for women over 50. As Charla says,” We’re going to fight aging, and we’re going to look great doing it.”
The first thing Charla recommends is evaluating your “maintenance level.” Are you high, medium or low maintenance?
-You are high maintenance if you never leave the house without a full face of makeup, you wear business attire when traveling, your favorite store is Neiman Marcus, you would spend your lottery winnings on a facelift and your crow’s feet are all gone.
-You are medium maintenance if you never leave the house without some lipstick and mascara, you wear pants and a nice sweater when traveling, you shop at Sephora instead of Neiman’s, you would spend your lottery winnings on a whole new wardrobe and your crow’s feet are a constant source of worry.
-You are low maintenance if you never leave the house without a clean face, you wear whatever is comfiest when traveling, you choose Williams Sonoma over Ann Taylor, you would spend your lottery winnings on a new car and crow’s feet never cross your mind.
Are you a purist, or a mix of all three? Whichever category you fit in, there are beauty tips just for you. You can look like a high maintenance beauty even if you’re a low maintenance gal. Follow along to look your best in your over 50 life!
Recent Comments